"Whadja bring?"
"Some old LEGO pieces, Osito's second-favorite Kong—"
"Complete with slobber."
"Yeah, well, what do you expect? It's Osito. He's a slobber factory."
"Uh-huh. What else?"
"Super Mario Bros.—"
"Without the console? Or are you going to put that in, too?"
"No way!"
"Then how's anyone gonna know what the game is? Anyone finding it won't be able to play it—or maybe even know what it is. It'll just be a plastic box with a circuit board inside."
"Whatever. The archaeologists will figure it out."
"Hmmm. Okay. What else?"
"One of Papi's cigars—"
"Uh-oh. Isn't he gonna miss that?"
"He has so many—what is there to miss?"
". . ."
"You're right. Maybe not. I'll put it back. . . . One of Abuelita's wrenches—"
"She's definitely gonna miss that!"
"Nah, I asked her."
"Oh, okay. Man, your Abuelita is just too cool. I wish my 阿嬤 could fix up old cars. . . . Actually, no, maybe it's best if she doesn't get near any old cars. I swear, she has some kind of tech-nullifying 氣場 or something. The moment she gets near any kind of technology, it dies."
"Whatever. Your 阿嬤 is the bomb! She could take down a mugger with just her pinky."
"Blindfolded."
"For sure."
"Hey, is that your—"
"My old Swiss Army knife, yup."
"Not your Leatherman?"
"No way! Abuelita gave me my Leatherman, you know that. No way I'm letting that go."
"Uh-huh. What else? Shakespeare? Not Don Quixote?"
"What? Whaddya mean? I've never even read Don Quixote!"
"But it's written in Spanish, right? Your culture."
"What? First of all, what's-his-buckets was from Spain. My family is from Perú—"
"I know that!"
"—And, second, you did not just go there, you racist! I don't see you reading Tang poetry!"
". . . You're right."
"Hmph!"
"Though . . . Tang poetry's from, like, ancient China, not Taiwan."
"Whatever!"
"But you're right. Sorry."
". . ."
"We good?"
". . . I get first dibs on your 阿公's bah-oân next time he makes 'em."
"Deal. What else you got?"
"Oh, uh, a dictionary—"
"A dictionary? What for?"
"Hey, you never know! Maybe whoever finds this won't even know English, so they'll need help with the words or whatever."
"Uh-huh. And if they don't know English, how are they even gonna use the dictionary?"
". . ."
"Doofus."
"Shut up."
"Did you bring a dictionary for all that fancy-schmancy Shakespearean English?"
"It's got annotations."
"Oh, right. Hey, what's that?"
"The best part! . . . Tada!"
". . ."
"What?"
"Pringles?"
"Yeah!"
"Sour cream and chives?"
"Yeah, your favorite flavor!"
"Exactly. My favorite flavor."
"Yeah, so?"
". . ."
"What? Oh my god, was that your stomach?"
"Nooooo. . . . But, you know, the Pringles'll probably get eaten by bugs before anyone actually sees them. . . ."
". . . Yeah, you're right. Let's just eat 'em."
"Gimme!"
"Anyways, whadja bring?"
"One of 老哥's baseballs—"
"Your brother's not gonna like that."
"Nah. He lost this one in the park a while back—used it as an excuse to beg 媽 to buy him a new one. I found this one a few days ago."
"Oh. Okay. What else?"
"A pair of gloves—"
"What? Why? They're—"
"Brilliant?"
"Banal."
"Quit showing off."
"I can't help it that I'm so smart."
"It's cuz you read all that Shakespeare."
"Shhh! Don't say that so loud. You're gonna ruin my image!"
"What image? Your image as a complete and total bookworm? Accurate, by the way. It's the glasses."
"Hey!"
"Hey yourself!"
". . ."
"What?"
". . ."
"Mila . . . 怎麼了?"
". . . Eugene said my glasses make me look like an owl."
"Well, Eugene looks like a barf bag, so he doesn't know anything!"
"Yeah, but . . ."
"I like 'em."
"What?"
"Your glasses. They're purple and pretty. And they make you look smart. Er, I mean, smarter."
". . ."
"I mean, everyone who knows you knows you're smart. . . . You're, like, way smarter than me—and I don't even wear glasses . . . !"
"Fff! That makes no sense, 小明."
"Uhhh. . . ."
"But . . . gracias."
"Uhhh . . . de nada?"
"But, seriously—why gloves? And they're not even exciting gloves."
"Hey, black can be exciting!"
"If it's an LBD, sure, but gloves?"
"What's an LBD?"
"That's what Blanca calls her 'little black dress.'"
"Oh. Well, I don't have a little black dress. Wanna donate?"
"Whaddya mean? You mean steal Blanca's . . . ? No way, she'd kill me!"
"Aw, c'mon, you could take her. Especially since she's always walking around in those high heels all the time. What are they called? 'Stilattoes?'"
"They're stilettos, you dork. And you don't know Blanca like I do. She puts on that sweet, angel face whenever anyone else is around, but she can be vicious when she thinks you're messing with her. She'd probably stab me with one of those stilettos."
"Hmmm. Kinda like someone else I know."
"Shut up. I wouldn't use stilettos."
"Yeah, good point. You don't have any heels. You'd use a real stiletto. That's what that means, right—a knife?"
"Yeah, a knife—a really thin, pointy knife."
"Yeah, you'd use that."
"And ruin a perfectly good knife? Nah, I'd use a shiv. Barbed."
"Ouch. Why you gotta go there? And you said your cousin was vicious."
"What can I say? I'm just that talented."
"Talented in violence!"
"Says the martial artist."
"Hey, 阿嬤 says I should know martial arts so I don't have to fight."
"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, what's up with the gloves?"
"Oh, well, I just figured, you never know. . . . Given enough time, they could be alien archaeologists, and gloves can show that we humans have hands."
"Uh-huh. So can our skeletons."
"Our skeletons??"
"Yeah, you know. Archaeologists find human skeletons all the time. They'd be able to see we have hands from our remains."
"Well, they might want to know how we keep our hands warm, too."
"Uh-huh. You're such a dork. Did you bring socks, too?"
"I did, actually."
"Wait, those are mine!"
"Not anymore. Finders keepers, losers weepers."
"It doesn't count as finding when you raid my sock drawer!"
"Didn't have to. You left them back at my place a few weeks back. Remember when we went wading and then went back to my place to play Battleship?"
"Oh. Well, fine. Huh. They're clean. You washed 'em?"
"Course! Can't have future alien archaeologists catching your grody foot fungus, thereby wiping out their entire species! Remember the American Indians?"
"Shut up. I do not have foot fungus."
"Uh-huh. Still can't take the risk."
"Bllllpppppt!"
"Heh."
"But they're socks. By your logic, how're they gonna know we have toes?"
"By your logic, aren't our skeletons gonna show that we have toes?"
"Well, you got a skeleton?"
"What, you wanna put in a human skeleton?"
"No, ew."
"That's what I thought. 傻子—欸! 妳幹嘛?! Whadja punch me for?"
"Just cuz. Besides, you blocked it."
"Reflex."
"What does shǎ-something—whatever you said—mean?"
"You would know if you leveled up your Chinese."
"Hmph! As soon as you level up your Spanish."
"Sure, mi loquita—ow!"
"你再說一遍!"
"Mi loquita hermosa?"
". . . Fine. You're forgiven."
"Forgiven! For what? Here I was, just innocently—"
"Innocent, my ass!"
"Why, Miss Camila Cardenas, what would your Mami say if she heard you talking like that?"
"Well, 張志明, she never will. And you're not gonna tell her!"
"I might."
"You wouldn't."
". . ."
"Oh, you—!"
"Ow! Stop that!"
"How do you say it? 活該! You deserved it."
"Seriously, Mila, that one hurt."
"Sorry."
"My poor arm."
"You'll survive. You could have dodged if you had really wanted to, 黑帶的先生."
"Not yet! 阿嬤 hasn't officially tested me yet."
"Has she told you you're not going to pass?"
". . . No."
"Then you're going to pass. Now, Mr. Black Belt, what else you got?"
"Oh. Uh, one of 爸's ties—I asked him first!"
"What is with you and all these clothes?"
"Says Miss Books over here. Besides, clothes are the first sign of civilization."
"Uh-huh."
"And . . ."
"No way! You're going to put in your 媽's Polaroid camera?"
"No, silly. I'm gonna take a picture of us with the Polaroid camera, and then put in the picture."
"Oh. Huh. That's a smart idea."
"All my ideas are smart."
"Don't make me punch you again."
"Heh. Now come over here. 一、二、三⋯⋯茄子！"
"Queso! Argh, I blinked. I'll look like a doofus."
"Well, too late now."
"Lemme see."
"Nuthin' to see yet. It takes a minute or two."
"Whatever. Lemme see!"
"Patience is a virtue."
"I'm not patient."
"Boy, do I know that—ow!"
"Oh, come on, that was practically a love tap."
"Love tap? Ew. Cooties."
"你才有cooties!"
"Ow! Yeesh, your Papi was right: you're pint-sized, but you pack a punch."
"Hey, it's coming out. Oh, good. My eyes are open."
"You still look like a doofus."
"Shut up. What's the Sharpie for?"
"To sign it with, duh."
"Oh. Good idea."
"All my ideas are good—ow!"
"That everything?"
"Yup."
"'Kay. Let's put everything in."
"Got the trowel?"
"Got two trowels."
"Well, you got two hands, so sure—don't you dare!"
"Pbbbt!"
"Huh. Mila?"
"What?"
"There's something here."
"What? Whaddya mean?"
"I mean there's something already here. . . ."
"Well, get it out—"
"I'm trying!"
"Here—!"
"Oof, it's heavy."
"Lemme—"
"哇靠, 啥小—"
"No manches. . . . 小明, is that . . . ?"
"It is. . . . Mila, someone beat us to this whole time capsule thing."